Dating
in the Modern World
By Marlene Montanez
I am a 22 year old female. I can choose
to seek friendship, dating, relationship or just intimate
encounters. I am attractive, intelligent, funny, nice,
and a good listener. I like to have fun. I like to go
dancing. I only casually drink and would rather not
specify my religion or ethnicity. But how can any of
this truly be appealing? Unless you aren’t specifically
a 22 year old female, who does this description not
apply to? I highly doubt that anyone (including myself)
would include such traits like how I can be stubborn,
I procrastinate and I am not the most tidy of people.
Yet going on date after date with duds met through friends
or the bar scene may not be appealing anymore if you
don’t have the time, energy or patience. In fact,
understandably enough the entire dating process can
be quite frustrating and sometimes even infuriating.
I had a conversation with a potential date once as to
why he didn’t drink alcohol to which he replied
was to keep in good shape. I told him I drank occasionally
and that I was in good shape and I remember clear as
day as he said, “But I bet I have a better body
than you.”
I am a size two. We never went out.
Fortunately enough, you can be proactive about changing
your dating life if you are among the many who now believe
in making a valiant effort in having a successful dating
life instead of waiting for fate to deliver your perfect
mate.
In efforts to discover the most recent dating trends,
I’ve mainly found that from speed dating, to online
dating everyone’s trying to meet the perfect person
with minimal effort and time commitment. Although sifting
through the duds as quickly as possible to finally meet
Perfect seems ideal, it also somewhat confuses me. I
will dedicate an extraordinary amount of time to find
the perfect shoes for my perfect outfit that maybe I
will wear once, so how can it be true that in a six
minute pre-date I may possibly meet the person I will
spend the rest of my life with? Not to discount speed
dating at all, the concept is actually quite fantastic.
Pre-dating.com a speed dating service sets up groups
of men and women in upscale venues. At the events you
meet on what is called a “pre-date” for
six minutes with at least 10-12 single people of the
opposite sex. After each date you mark on your match
sheet who you would like to meet again and within 24hours
you are emailed with people who picked you too! Reading
the description of the event on pre-dating.com’s
website I suddenly get a flashback of playing Heads
up Seven Up in grade school. You look across the room
anxious and dying to know which of the seven kids put
your thumb down!! But instead of kids, you are meeting
guaranteed professionals who are mostly age 25 and up.
Probably the most obvious and common single hookup usage
was the online dating service. Match.com, lavalife.com
and eharmony.com are just a few of the most popular.
That’s where I figured out that saying you were
charming, nice, outgoing and funny were traits that
everyone seemed to possess! To which we all know is
far from true. But I was pleasantly surprised to find
that there were many more attractive men than I expected!
You can specify on your profile if you’re looking
for dating, just friends, a relationship or just sex.
And most companies let women initially sign up for free
and you can become a member for the average price of
$30 a month. This buys you unlimited access to people’s
profile of the age and gender you specify. I would be
wary, however, as people can upload airbrushed photos
of when they were young and fit and on the other side
of the computer can be a scary ex-convict. Using an
online dating service can be tricky business because
other than sifting through pictures there’s no
real way to distinguish yourself. Online handles for
these dating services are like personalized license
plates gone bad. I came across so many taglines proclaiming,
“Are you the one? Looking for soul mate”
and the worst being the handles: “Looking4u, 1sweetguy,
LovnU” and so forth. Amidst all these single online
daters, I wondered how many are really intrigued by
a handle, tagline or profile description.
Fortunately enough eharmony.com answers all those questions.
I was able to sign up quickly and easy through the other
services but eharmony.com was much trickier. Created
by relationship expert Dr. Neil Clark, this dating service
connects people through personality profiles and seeks
to make matches based on compatibility. Although an
intriguing concept it is an astonishingly long process.
With 177 questions answered about my personality I found
myself only 32% finished with the questionnaire and
quit.
Now if you’re serious about looking for love and
have the spare cash a matchmaker may be in order. Although
at first it seemed like something a little old fashioned,
further research really convinced me that with the spare
cash (approx $3000 for 18months of service from Bonnie
the matchmaker) and dedication it’s the safest
approach to take. A matchmaker interviews you personally
and takes time to get to know all about you and the
person you wish to meet. They will do background checks
on all potentials and you are interviewed before being
accepted as a potential dating candidate. Bonnie the
matchmaker in Phoenix even has criteria that must be
met before even applying: must be an educated working
or retired professional, height and weight proportionate,
non-smoker, healthy and a loving heart.
Of course cheaper options include going to church, bars
or meeting people through friends. Although one trend
that I found to be exciting and cheap I saw on an episode
of Sex and the City, where one of the girls threw a
“used date party.” The idea is to throw
a party where everyone brings a guest of the opposite
sex who they aren’t interested in dating. There
will be an equal match of males to female and it is
likely you can meet and fall for someone that someone
else may not like.
Now if going through all this is still disconcerting
just think of this; people all over the world stand
at the altar praying that the person they’ve been
arranged to marry is at least pleasant. At least you
only have to pray that your blind date is tardy because
of a flat tire, not because they saw you and took off
running.
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